Ep 12: ADHD: When Your Child Cannot Sit Still

Contents

• What is ADHD and Why Can't My Child Sit Still?

• Common Misconceptions Parents Face

• Practical Strategies to Support Your Child

1. What is ADHD and Why Can't My Child Sit Still?

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects a child's attention, self-control, and behavioral regulation. Many people still mistakenly believe that ADHD is a result of a child being "naughty," "stubborn," or a lack of strict parenting. However, this is not the case. ADHD stems from differences in how the brain functions, particularly in the areas responsible for focus, impulse inhibition, and energy management.

When a child cannot sit still, it is not a choice they are making. A child with ADHD often feels as if they are "driven by a motor" that never stops. Their brain struggles to filter out extraneous information, meaning any sound or visual stimulus can cause a distraction. The urge to move, bounce, tap fingers, or swivel is actually the body's attempt to self-regulate in order to stay alert and functional.

For a neurotypical child, the instruction "sit still" is a simple request. But for a child with ADHD, this command can be as physically challenging as asking an adult to stand perfectly motionless for 10 minutes. The issue lies not in their willpower, but in their biological capability.

2. Common Misconceptions Parents Face

ADHD is not a new condition, yet it is still surrounded by many myths.

Myth #1: "The child is just too naughty; they need stricter discipline." Children with ADHD do not intend to cause trouble. They are genuinely struggling to control their bodies and thoughts. While discipline and structure are necessary, strict punishment cannot resolve the underlying biological cause.

Myth #2: "It’s caused by bad parenting or spoiling the child." Parenting styles do not cause ADHD. You can often see this in families where siblings are raised in the exact same environment: one has ADHD, and the other does not. This demonstrates that ADHD is a characteristic of the brain, not the result of the environment.

Myth #3: "They will grow out of it." ADHD does not simply vanish. Many children grow up to be adults with ADHD. However, with proper support from an early age, their self-management skills can improve significantly, allowing them to lead healthy, successful lives.

Myth #4: "ADHD medication is dangerous." In reality, medication is just one of many support tools. When prescribed and monitored by a specialist, medication helps children control their behavior and focus more effectively. The key is proper assessment and ongoing monitoring.

3. Practical Strategies to Support Your Child

The first and most important step is empathy. Beyond understanding, however, parents need specific strategies.

1. Chunking Tasks (Break it Down) ADHD brains struggle with long or complex tasks. Instead of saying "Sit and study for an hour," break it down: "Do math for 7 minutes, then take a 3-minute break." The more specific the segment, the easier it is for the child to complete.

2. Allow Controlled Fidgeting ADHD brains need movement to focus. Parents can provide tools like stress balls, swivel chairs, resistance bands (kick bands) on chair legs, or fidget pens. These tools allow the child to release excess energy while maintaining mental focus.

3. Use Visuals Instead of Words Children with ADHD process images faster and more clearly than verbal reminders. Use checklists, "To-Do" boards, or visual countdown timers. These tools help the child self-monitor and feel a sense of control over their own schedule.

4. Keep Rules Simple – Nag Less Children with ADHD can easily become cognitively overloaded by constant verbal reminders. Establish clear rules from the start, such as: "If you finish task A, you get 10 minutes of play," or "When I speak, look at me for 3 seconds." Fewer words with consistent enforcement are far more effective than scolding.

5. Daily Physical Exercise Exercise is "nature's medicine" for ADHD. Just 20–30 minutes of running, cycling, or vigorous play can boost dopamine levels, helping the child feel more settled, less restless, and better able to focus for hours afterward.

Conclusion Children with ADHD are not "lacking" anything—they simply lack an environment suited to their unique brain wiring. When supported correctly, many children with ADHD prove to be incredibly creative, full of ideas, flexible, enthusiastic, and capable of solving problems in unique ways.

If your child "cannot sit still," it does not mean you are failing as a parent. It simply means they need you to understand them a little deeper, be a little more patient, and walk beside them in a way that fits their beautiful, busy brain.